You probably have a vagina if you're here, or you at least "intimately" know someone who does. You're in luck because vaginas are truly beautiful. They can give you all kinds of pleasure, including pushing out babies, and they typically DIY their own lubrication. The vagine occasionally forgets the entire memo that says "I want some." Because of this, learning how to get wet when everything feels extremely dry is essentially a superpower, which we will teach you how to do right now. The body uses natural lubrication, as Johanna Rief, head of sexual empowerment at Womanizer, says, to prepare for sexual action. It occurs when fluid that lubricates the vaginal canal is secreted by the Bartholin and Skene glands.
The problem is that while lubrication may be the body's method of preparing for sex, it also comes about as a result of sexual excitement. "There is increased blood flow to the genitals when a [person with a vagina] is excited," claims Allison Hill, MD, OBGYN, a medical specialist with Wisp, a provider of sexual and reproductive telemedicine services. "This increased blood volume results in the formation of a watery fluid on the vaginal walls." This lubricant reduces friction during penetration and improves the quality of all kinds of sex.
When the vagina doesn't self-lubricate, things can quickly become very uncomfortable. According to ob-gyn Shristy Mohanty, "inadequate lubrication can result in painful sex, which might make you want to avoid sex altogether." It turns out that being slick is very important for having amazing sex.
But fortunately, there's still hope if you can't seem to get wet. If you want to put a stop to your (literal) dry period, the specialists advise attempting anything from getting totally revved up to altering your positions.
Get rid of stress
First of all, although being wet is frequently cited as a sign of arousal, Jess O'Reilly, PhD, resident sexologist at Astroglide, stresses that "a wetter reaction is not necessarily an indication of a larger desire." In keeping with that, being dry doesn't always indicate a lack of interest.
According to O'Reilly, this is due to the fact that, in some cases, our bodies' physiological responses to arousal and sexual desire may not match up with our actual experiences. Instead of stressing about self-lubrication, try to push it out of your mind since the more stressed you are, the less likely you are to have that wet arousal. Rief advises spending some time increasing sexual tension to set the mood. Lubrication may occur as you make out with your partner while listening to sexy music.
Try Lubricants
Moistness is crucial during sex, even though natural lubrication isn't always an indication of low arousal. Lube not only improves the sensation of intercourse but also makes it safer. According to Amy Roskin, PhD, chief medical officer of Favor, "Sex can produce too much friction, which may cause minor skin tears, scrapes, or irritation that might make infections more prevalent."
Dr. Jess says that using lubricant can actually assist in improving natural lubrication if safety and simply feeling nice aren't enough to convince you to join the lube train. Because it eases the pressure to get wet, some people find that using lube encourages them to relax and develop their own physical lubrication. Apply lube before you jump into bed and enjoy the feeling of being wet before you get aroused (although using lube might make you aroused).
Oh, and Rief advises you to just put those pessimistic ideas aside before you assume that grabbing the lube implies you've failed or are giving up. Everyone should have sexual fulfillment, and using lubricant is one of the best ways to make sure your sexual experiences are as pleasurable as possible, according to her.
Go slow, don't rush
Remember, sex begins in the brain. According to Dr. Hill, it takes 20 to 30 minutes of mental excitement for the blood flow to the genitals to increase. Therefore, 30 minutes of arousal are also necessary for optimal natural lubrication. But what's this? Most people don't spend a half-hour getting their genitalia ready for pleasure. According to surveys, couples in the US have sex for anything from 5.4 to 19 minutes every encounter, according to Vanessa Geffrard of Lovers Sexpert.
According to sex and relationship counselor Azaria Menezes, "we like to imagine that our bodies are like on and off switches, but we are far more sophisticated than that." Fortunately, this one is simple to fix. Just remember to take your time, don't rush, and really give yourself the full 45 minutes or more to allow yourself to become aroused.
While we're on the subject of taking your time, Dr. Hill emphasizes the significance of remaining actively aroused and not just jumping into sex the second you start to feel a slight tingling. This is such that excitement causes the pelvic floor muscles to relax in addition to lubrication. According to Dr. Hill, "the vagina actually changes form and flattens to allow penetration." Sex may not be enjoyable and may even be painful if [a person with a vagina] isn't spending 20 to 30 minutes in the arousal phase.
Consequently, while lubrication will make things wetter (which, like, hooray! ), mental arousal will enable your pelvic floor to relax and improve sex noticeably. You guys, good things take time.
Go hard on erotica
Dr. Hill advises that you keep a supply of "chef's kiss" arousal aids on hand, including sexy stories, spicy movies, and even sensual music. She says that natural
lubrication will be aided by any activity that raises arousal. "We advise women to identify their personal arousal triggers and employ them in their sex practices."
Erotica is a fantastic option because it facilitates mental navigation. The sexual novel you're reading, the audio porn you're listening to, or the ethical porn you're watching can direct your sensual thoughts rather than force a hot vision into your head. It's crucial to understand that reading erotica occasionally, whether you're single or in a relationship, is very acceptable. Rief advises having an honest discussion about it if you're worried about what your spouse might think (or if they have any reservations about this kind of stimulation). She suggests that you two would like to do it together.
Use a sex toy.
So while Rief says sex toys are a terrific tool to utilize to get closer, they probably won't be the thing that makes your natural lubricant gush (sorry, sorry). "Sex toys can help you get in the mood by sending the proper messages to every cell in your body," says the author. She advises beginning with a non-penetrative toy. The anticipation and lubricant created by doing this will assist you in preparing for whatever you want to tackle next.
Select the best sex position.
Some positions not only feel better than others, but they can also cause the body to produce more lubricant. According to Dr. Mohanty, the first benefit of having sex in a method that seems comfortable to you is that you'll feel more confident, at ease, and at ease, all of which will naturally assist your body in becoming aroused. Additionally, because they are striking the deep areas of the clitoris, some penetrative positions might actually promote lubrication. Try it out to check if the coital alignment approach produces a "juicy" response.
Boost your water intake.
According to Menezes, vaginal dryness could be caused by something as basic as dehydration. Seriously! According to Amy Gueye-Weinstein, MD, inadequate water consumption has a variety of negative impacts on the body, including the possibility of vaginal dryness, because the majority of our cells are made up of water.
However, this one is also simply repairable: According to Dr. Gueye-Weinstein, if dehydration is the only cause of your vaginal dryness and you continuously work to stay hydrated (i.e., consuming around 2.7 liters of water per day, acco Mayo Clinic recommendations), you should start to notice improvements in as little as three days. Talk about some very quick gratification for a significant shift in lifestyle.
Eat more vegetables and fruits.
Consider boosting your intake of fresh vegetables when you're drinking water. According to Diamond Marie, a mental health therapist at Calmerry, "fruits with high content in water, such as strawberries and pineapples, aid with your natural lube."
Speak with your doctor.
According to Ashley Harris, a sex and relationship counselor at BeyondAges, if your vaginal dryness frequently coexists with unusual dryness in other parts of your body, like your eyes and mouth, you might think about seeing a doctor as these could be symptoms of Sjögren's syndrome. According to Dr. Gueye-Weinstein, this ailment causes dryness along all of the mucous membranes and can affect both young and old women with vaginal discharge.
Even though Sjorgen's is the second most prevalent autoimmune ailment after rheumatoid arthritis, according to Dr. Gueye-Weinstein, it is still regarded as an uncommon disease. Of course, Dr. Gueye-Weinstein continues, if your vaginal dryness concerns you, it's always a wise decision to have a doctor evaluate you. So go ahead and book a time. It won't harm you!
What medication are you taking?
Vaginal dryness can be brought on by allergies, antihistamine-containing cold medicines, and even some asthma treatments. Consider switching to more natural treatments or discussing other choices with your doctor.
What about antidepressants?
SSRIs can affect vaginal lubrication in addition to libido, according to Jennifer Landa, MD, chief medical officer for BodyLogicMD. Discuss changing to a different drug with your psychiatrist in order to find the one that is most effective for both your mental and sexual health.
Quit smoking.
According to Dr. Landa, aging, smoking, and other things that might clog arteries may clog tiny arteries in the vagina and lower its moisture content. According to Dr. Landa, the primary reason we get wet in the first place is the engorgement of the blood vessels in the vaginal area, which is comparable to an erection in men with penises. This increased blood pressure in the blood vessels causes serum to leak across the blood vessels and the mucous membranes of the vagina, which results in more moisture.
Treat hormonal imbalance.
A decrease in estrogen levels during menopause, perimenopause, postpartum, or nursing is one of the most frequent causes of a dry vag, but cancer therapies like chemotherapy and pelvic radiation can also cause low estrogen and a reduction in vaginal lubrication. If you're experiencing any of the aforementioned symptoms or are simply unsure whether a hormonal imbalance is drying things out, talk to your doctor.
Stay in touch with your body.
According to clinical sexologist Kristie Overstreet, PhD, if you only partake in sex for the sake of it, this could also be a contributing cause. "You are not allowing your body to be fully aroused if you are disassociated from your body and the present time." The fluids start to move as a result of this stimulation.
Overstreet suggests practicing mindfulness and breathing exercises to connect with your physical form and stay in the moment. These practices will help you tap into your body more fully. The more in tune you are with your body, the easier it is to relax and let yourself turn on.
Don't be shy.
According to Overstreet, doing this can also prevent your body from becoming wet if you frequently feel guilty or dirty after having sex. It's crucial to get through issues, whether you've felt this way since you were a child or as an adult. Your body will pay attention to your mind if it is telling you that what you're doing is improper.
Overstreet advises that you should attempt to transform your irrational beliefs into sensible ones and analyze any guilt or bad sentiments you may have regarding sex. Consider making an appointment with a cognitive behavioral therapist. "Your body will react favorably when your ideas and attitudes about sex are healthy and accepting."
Talk about it with your spouse
Vaginal dryness can occasionally be brought on by a lack of sex desire or problems with a partner. You won't be as wet as you would be if they were truly attracted to you and were spinning your clit around like a plate on a stick if they're not doing what they should be doing or if they are and it's simply not working for you.
Change your soap.
Certain chemicals in soaps, detergents, hygiene products, dyes, and perfumes can cause dryness or irritation in some people, which can frequently go hand in hand with being in your underwear or towels. Try switching to natural detergents or a different, more natural lubricant because even certain lubes, if they're not suited for you, can induce dryness.
Don't a douche, and stop douching if you do.
Zhana Vrangalova, PhD, a professor of human sexuality at NYU and an authority on Lelo, previously informed Cosmopolitan that there is no need for vaginal douching and advised keeping your cleaning routine informal. Douching changes the pH of the vagina, which can increase the risk of infection and reduce its ability to lubricate (since it literally flushes everything out). Since your vagina is essentially a self-cleaning machine, talk to your doctor before you douche if you think you need to.
Be calm, relax and enjoy.
When stressed out and not paying attention to the attractive situation at hand, it is quite difficult for people to become turned on. Additionally, your vagina won't be lubed and turned on if you're too preoccupied to turn it on. Take a nap, eat some pizza, and watch Magic Mike. That's the general idea. Relaxing might just be the answer.
Severe and persistent symptoms should, of course, be checked out by your gynecologist to rule out anything more serious.
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