Of the many advantages of Sapphic Love—familiarity with the equipment, better post-sex wet spot situation, and a lower chance of being subjected to earnest jackhammering—one of the best is that it's not subjected to the same old hetero-normative ideas of what you're “supposed” to be doing. Sometimes the mere fact of not being a normie can be a turn-on.
“The thing I enjoy most is being able to bask in the vulnerability that comes with queer sex, especially with other fat, Black femmes such as myself. I feel like unpacking my queerphobia has contributed to this experience and has allowed me to open up and truly enjoy the experience with partners that are inherently pleasure-centric because of our shared plight,” says writer Cheyenne Davis.
To get yourself to that pleasure-centric space, try these ideas:
-Mind the foreplay: “Upgrade your foreplay!” says Chelsea Downs, co-founder of sex-positive toy and gear company New York Toy Collective. “Use pressure point massage during your foreplay. Use what you know/like or, if you have a few minutes, Google 'pressure points.' Rubbing the scalp, bottoms of feet, and calves can completely change the experience."
-Play with temperature: “Temperatures, including ice and a wet washcloth, can be a pleasant surprise,” says Downs. “Turn on some instrumental music and blindfold your partner so they can focus on the sensations.”
-Use pillows: “Use what you've got! Make use of your bedroom pillows. Using pillows to lift and support core muscles makes a more comfortable experience. When on your back, put them under the waist and butt. When on your belly, place pillows under your core for additional support,” says Downs.
-Just ask: “The best sex position is communication,” says musician Abby Diamond. “Seriously, a lot of this stuff is a conversation with your partner, feeling safe to ask for what you want, and then trial (and sometimes hilarious) error.”
Before you dive into this list of the best positions, if you're looking for someone to practice with, check this list of lesbian dating apps you'll enjoy being on. And if you're already with someone (aww!) and you need some new playthings, try one of these lesbian-friendly toys. And you're curious about how other people discovered their passion for the P, see how these other people discovered they were into women.
Sex Position 1: the slider
Have your partner sit on your lap but instead of doing anything fancy, just lube up your fingers, make a V shape with your first and middle fingers and slide them along either side of their clitoris and over their vulva. Use long, slow, consistent strokes for a slow build to a huge orgasm.
Sex position 2: the made to order
Sex Position 3: the bumper cars
A strap-on doesn't only have to be used for P-in-V, it's also lovely for anal. Try a spooning position for gentle entry with the little spoon using a rabbit-style vibrator for amazing triple stimulation. Choosing a strap-on harness that holds a bullet vibe for the wearer ensures that's everyone is happy, real happy.
Sex Position 4: the daily grind
Sex Position 5: come as you are
Sex Position 6: double trouble
Go off-label and combine two toys to design your super intense sensations. Have your partner lie back comfortably so she can use a clit suction-type toy on herself (sometimes clit toys are the kind of things you want to control your damn self.) As she gets more turned on, use a dildo or internal vibe inside her vagina. If you are feeling a little cruel Mistress, go ahead and make her beg for it.
Sex Position 7: the lean in
Have your partner lie on their back. Go down on them, paying extra attention to their clitoris with your mouth, while you also penetrate them with two fingers, or three if you want to Lean In. You really can have it all.
BTW: “Research a while back suggested lesbian and bi women were the most likely to be ejaculators-and why? I think it's the fingers-plus-oral combo,” says Carol Queen, Ph.D., Good Vibrations Staff Sexologist. “A waterproof throw is perfect for those squirters.”
Sex Position 8: the laconic lounger
Have your partner lie on their back with two pillows under their upper back. Kneel between their legs and draw slow circles around their clitoris with one hand. Use your free hand to massage their breasts, or just have a hot makeout sesh. What's not to like?
“When having sex with other vulva owners, what I enjoy most is my partner laying on their back with their legs spread apart, which allows me to pleasure them in multiple areas of their body,” says Davis. “This position can also be amplified with the person laying down being blindfolded while the person sitting uses toys such as ice, candle wax, and feathers for sensation play.”
Sex Position 9: the all-hands meeting
Have your partner get on all fours. Finger their butthole (very slowly, and with lube!) with your thumb while fingering their vagina with your index finger. “Pinch” your two fingers together from opposite directions inside of them to create an incredible feeling for them via internal stimulation. Then, with your free hand, play with their nipples or lips. When I said all hands, I meant all hands.
Sex Position 10: the Olympic gymnast
Sex Position 11: the breast enhancement
Kneel facing your sitting partner and lean in until your nipples are touching. Then rub their clit, either with your hand or with a vibrator, stopping occasionally to kiss their breasts and nipples. Good vibes all around.
Sex Position 12: the rocket
You know the Beyoncé song that starts, "Let me sit this ass on you"? That's what you're going for here. Kneel over their shoulders and let your butt brush against their nipples while their tongue gets intimate with your clitoris. You'll be crazy in love with this position.
Sex Position 13: the double duty
Have your partner get on all fours with their pelvis tilted up. Kneel over their calves, rubbing your clitoris against their leg. Start by licking their clitoris and vulva, but if they're up for it, move on to anilingus. The contrast will blow their mind.
Sex Position 14: the kinky jockey
Have your partner get on all fours, then straddle their hips. Tug on their hair while you rub your clitoris against their tailbone. Getting a little Fifty Shades of Grey is always hot.
Sex Position 15: defying gravity
Sex Position 16: the lazy girl's 69
Lie on your sides facing each other's crotches. Go down on each other — just like a 69, but on your sides. You can even rest your head on their inner thigh if you get tired. Simultaneously getting each other off without the neck strain? Yes, please!
If a marathon cunnilingus session is gonna be going on, sex furniture, like positioning pillows, can be helpful for people of any gender mix and orientation, says Queen. “When you are between someone's legs, it helps if you can hold your neck in a straight position, not bent. A wedge can fit under the chest (or as a ramp to her thigh, if you are coming in from the side), and add to comfort and stamina.”
Sex Position 17: the lovely lap dance
Sit on a slightly-reclined chair with one knee bent up and your foot resting on the edge of the chair. Have your partner straddle your raised leg and grind their clitoris against your thigh. Just lean back and enjoy the ride.
Sex Position 18: back that ass up
Have your partner get on all fours and kneel right behind them, grinding your hips against their butt. Reach around and finger their clitoris with one hand (the other is free to help out, engage in some nipple play, or tug on their ponytail–mix n' match as you see fit).
Sex Position 19: pegger's choice
Kneel right behind your partner, give them a pillow to cushion their head, and bend them over so their hips are in the air. If they prefer manual stimulation, you can take that route and use your fingers or tongue. Or, you can gear up with a strap-on and penetrate them doggy style.
Sex Position 20: the tawdry tire-swing
Sit on your partner's lap with your back to them. From here, they can finger you and you can finger them, all while you swing your hips back and forth along their pelvis. You can also throw a vibrator into the mix!
Sex Position 21: the classic scissor
Have your partner lie on their side and straddle one of their legs so your clits rub together. Grind on. It's a classic for a reason!
Sex Position 22: the espresso
This position is steamy and intense — maybe even too intense for some. Kneel facing each other with your knees intertwined and your bodies touching. Slowly grind against each other's thighs while you make out. All that eye contact is sure to bring you emotionally closer to each other.
Sex Position 23: the sexy spider
Similar to The Espresso, except your partner sits in a chair. Straddle them so you're facing each other and start with a steamy makeout session. From here, they can reach around and penetrate you with their fingers or you can grind your pubic bone against theirs. Once again, this one is great for building some intimacy.
Sex Position 24: the rockin' Rockette
Get your legs in the air! Lie on your back and have your partner kneel behind you. From there, they can kiss, lick, and suck on your clitoris while penetrating you with their free hand or a dildo. This one can be a little tricky re: balancing yourself, but it's oh so worth it if you can pull it off.
Sex Position 25: the wicked warm-up
Kneel in front of your standing partner and have them drape one leg over your shoulder while you go down on them. If you're feeling up to it, have them move your head or tell you exactly where they want your mouth to be.
Sex Position 26: tantric tête-à-tête
Face each other, sitting, with your legs spread. Use a vibrator on their clitoris or just use your fingers, or both! It's all about figuring out what turns the other person on, so try everything, but if they start making their O-face, whatever you do, don't stop.
“For me, one of the hottest ways to have sex is by integrating toys that allow me to share an experience with my partner while simultaneously enhancing my own. One of my favorites is to simply sit face-to-face with our thighs intertwined while using a hands-free device like the Eva which allows for my partner to explore and stimulate me (or vice versa) without getting in the way. This thing changed my life,” says Catie Osborn, an ADHD and sex+kink advocate and host of mental health podcast Infinite Quest.
Sex Position 27: the strap-on sizzle
This position requires a strap-on harness and dildo. Once you're all geared up, enter them missionary style, but let your nipples brush against each other with every thrust. This is the best kind of friction.
Sex Position 28: the Bermuda triangle
Stand behind them and reach around with one hand to finger them. Massage their breast with the other hand, and, if they're getting into it, have them play with their other nipple. The trifecta will drive them crazy in a very good way.
Sex Position 29: the belly dancer
Have your partner lie on their back. Sit on them so your clits rub together. Rest your hands on their upper thighs for support while you grind against them. Bliss.
Sex Position 30: the classic 69
Have your partner lie down on their back. Kneel over their head, facing their feet. Stay here if you're feeling selfish, but if you're a giver, bend forward and lick, kiss, and suck gently on their clitoris, while they do the same to you. It's an oldie, but a goodie.
Sex Position 31: the erotic maypole
Stand facing each other and each wrap your left legs around the other person. Hug them close for support while they finger you. If it helps with balance, stand near a couch or sturdy table you can hold onto to keep yourselves upright.
Sex Position 32: the sultry spoon
Lie in a spooning position behind your partner and reach your top arm over to finger their clitoris. If you want to get in on the fun, have your partner reach back and finger you too. Feeling your way around makes it that much hotter. Also, it works great with a vibrator. Mix it up!
Sex Position 33: the hot hair salon
Kneel behind your (also kneeling) partner and lightly tug on their hair while you reach around and gently stroke their clitoris. Pleasure and a teeny, consensual amount of pain can be a delightful combo.
Sex Position 34: ride 'em cowgirl
Have your partner lie on their back with a pillow under their hips. Then, facing them, straddle one of their legs and use yours to rub against their clitoris. Who says cowgirl is only for straight people?
Sex Position 35: the hot wrap
Lie on your back and have your partner lie on top of you, also on their back. Reach around and stimulate their clitoris with a vibrator while playing with their nipples.
Sex Position 36: over the edge
Have your partner create a bridge, with their upper back on the bed and their feet on the floor. Straddle one of their legs (put your outside knee on the bed and hold their hands for leverage) and grind your pubic bone against theirs. Bedroom yoga has never been more fun.
Sex Position 37: the bridge to pleasure town
Have your partner lie on their back with two pillows under their hips. Kneel between their thigh, draping their legs over your shoulders, and go to town. The pillows allow for some extra height and way more accessible.
Sex Position 38: the quest
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